November 25, 2019 at 12:30 am #1349266sheegokeysMember
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Please tag me whenever a new episode is out.
Loving it already0November 25, 2019 at 6:36 am #1349292SlimvMember
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Bring it on. Already seated0November 25, 2019 at 6:39 am #1349293SlimvMember
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Pls tag me when next episode is out0November 25, 2019 at 9:24 am #1349300Aderibigbe AyomideMember
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Narrator :Aderibigbe Ayomide(oko Adesewa)
Some decisions are meant to happen.
” I want you out of my room!!! ” she screamed on her topmost voice.
” hell yeah, I’m doing that with immediate effect, I’m sick and tired of a pig house ” I said then I searched for my trouser and shirt which was lying helplessly on the floor.
I picked them up, got dressed, then I head out jamming the door very loudly behind me.
“bull shit!!! ” I muttered as pick my phone to call last Don.
Me : Roberto
Don : Philippi what’s up.
Me: I no dey okay at all, where you dey.
Don : me too no dey okay jare.
Me : you no dey okay? Wetin happen?
Don : that girl f--k up jare.
Me : what do you mean?
Don : she no gree make I f--k her jare
Me: say wetin happen?
Don : e be like say na you she fall for. You know wetin con spoil everything.
Me : what?
Don : she con vomit and shit on my rug. I swear I scrub rug till daylight.
Me: Aye Mi!!!
Don : I swear
Me : my own story still better niyen.
Don : wetin happen? She no gree make you f--k her ni or what?
Me : I f--k her na.
Don : so wetin com be your problem.
Me : Chai, how I wan explain self. Na pig i f--k Jare.
Don : pig as how? She turn pig or what?
Me : see, my airtime go soon finish, I will explain to you when we see.
Don : okay na, I wan sleep self.
Me : Pele ooo. (sorry ooo)
I ended the call then I run another call to apple boy.
Me : hello taiwo
Apply boy : Aweedy how you dey.
Me : I dey jare. Shey you dey house ni?
Apply boy : yes, I dey house with Cindy.
Me : Chai bad boy, you Hmmm?
Apply boy : trust me na. All night work.
Me: Chai!!! Anyway enjoy yourself, I wan reach your side before, since you have a guest, I guess I should just go home.
Apply boy : anyway na. Later things.
Me: Yea, take care.
I ended the call then I head straight to my place. I met my school son at home. His name is Samson and he’s pretty much a stubborn and a ‘ water mouth’ kid. I mean he talks alot. He’s also good at making friends with ladies. I guessed that’s hereditary.
He must have expected me to come home yesterday which I refused, due to some decisions I never meant to happen.
“Egbon, where you go since yesterday na? ” he asked just as I came in.
” I will tell you later, make I bath first, hope you cook something sha? ” I asked as I unclad myself to bath.
” Yea, I prepared rice ” he replied.
I spent more than 30 minutes in the bathroom, and with the way I scrubbing my body, you will think maybe I’m washing away my sins. I washed my d--k more than ten times. My mentality was that I laid a pig, so I felt as if I got shit all over my body, so I bath repeatedly.
Immediately I finished bathing, I devoured the food Samson cooked with tremedious acceleration, my stomach was as empty as a can. I guess that’s an effect of an alcohol.
I narrated everything that happened Samson, he couldn’t help but to laugh. Well it’s not his fault, I was the one that laid a pig.
” Egbon, I wan reach my babe side ” he said.
“Elizabeth? ” I asked to confirm my thinking.
“yes ooo Egbon, she’s my only heart desire, my one and only. Any other girl is a conterfirt. ” he gallivant.
” Hmmm, just close the door behind you ” I said then he took his leave.
I couldn’t go to lecture that day which happens to be Tuesday, so I decided to spend the rest of the day indoor.
I went online on social media to ease an upcoming boredom. I’m always scared of logging in on my whatsapp account, the unreplied messages I got their are up to 500, so I prefer ‘smoking my balls’ on facebook.
Just as I log in on facebook I saw a notification from messenger, unknowingly I clicked on it and I found myself reading Aduke offline messages. I found out that she’s online so I decided to reply her back.
Aduke: hey don’t you have the courtesy of replying a message.
Me : I’m sorry, I didn’t check my messenger.
Aduke : really?
Me : Yea, how are you?
Aduke : I’m fine and you?
Me : Not bad. May I know you?
Aduke : what do you want to know about me?
Me : just a little, for a start.
Aduke : anyway ask the question, I’ll do the answering.
Me : I’m pretty bad at asking questions.
Aduke : Really?
Me : yeah.
Aduke : I thought you are a writer.
Me : yeah so?
Aduke : you should be good at stuffs like that.. I mean asking ladies deadly questions.
Me : lol, Surprisely I’m not.
Aduke : well anyway I love your story Adesewa. Is it real?
Me : I wouldn’t say that… But she died, that’s real.
Aduke : oh… I’m very sorry about that.
Me : no problem, it’s been 4 years now. I can still manage without a tear or tears.
Aduke : okay, my name is Aduke, I’m in Ekiti state….and I’m a model.
Me : interesting. I’m an artist too, I do make up.
Aduke : oh really?
Me : Yea, I got to go.
Aduke : oh…
Me : yeah I’m hungry, I want to go get something to eat.
Aduke : okay take care.
I closed the facebook app then throw my phone away to a corner around the room. I’m already getting tired of the chat cos I’m not really into chatting for a long time.
I felt like drinking a cold drink so I head out to buy a soft drink.
On my way to the provision shop, I came in contact with segun he’s a neighborhood friend and I call him baba dudu cos he’s as black as a coal.
He can eat for Africa, I never see him get full, always eating like a termite. We exchanged greetings as normal guys then we gets talking.
” how far na, where Samson dey ” he asked.
” he went to his love house ” I replied.
” na that Elizabeth go kill Samson for this campus I swear ” he said demonstrating with his hands.
” leave him alone jare, he’s in love. Wetin dey happen na? ” I asked In a pidgin language.
” as I dey so, hunger dey catch me. You cook food for house? ” he asked as he began rubbing his hand on his stomach.
” Samson cooked rice for house, I wan go get a soft drink, I dey com, the door is not lock” I said then I move away from him.
After buying the soft drink, I was on my way back home when I receive a text from Rita.
” I need to see you, call me when you can”
Immediately I got the text, I run a call through to her.
Me: hello Rita
Rita : Yes oko Adesewa.
Me: Yea, I saw your text, is everything alright?
Rita : Yea… your friend tried some shit with me yesterday night and…
Me: I’m sorry, that won’t happen again.
Rita : anyway are you at home. ?
Me :yea, why asking.
Rita : cos I want to come over.
Me : maybe some other time, I’m about going out.
Rita : oh really?
Me : Yea.
Rita : Abi you don’t want me to come?
Me : no naa.
Rita : okay. Take care.
All the while I was on call, there was a lady standing in front of me, probably waiting for me to end the call before talking.
” I know this voice ” she said after I got done with the call.
” sorry, do I know you? ” I asked.
” I don’t know, but your voice sounds familiar. Like the voice of a ‘John Snow’ I heard at the well yesterday ” she replied.
” John Snow? Sorry I don’t quite get it ” I asked with confusion.
” Yea, ‘John Snow’ a bastard. He’s a bastard in Game of thrones. So whoever I call John Snow is a bastard. The bastard refuse to help me yesterday with just a bowl of water ” she answered.
” holy shit!!! So you are the rat ‘shiting’ in the bush beside the well? ” I asked with alot of surprises, cos I wasn’t expecting a pretty girl like her to be doing “short put ” in the bush.
” And you are the baboon that refuses to help a lady ” she fired back.
I smiled at her even though her face doesn’t looks friendly.
” Wao! You got me ‘waoed ‘ as in I’m not expecting you to be this beautiful, I’m sorry about what I did ” I said apologetic.
” you are sorry? That was an intentional act. ” She retorted.
I thought for a while whether to go hard on her or soft, but I later choose to go both.
” How can you rent a house without a toilet? ” I asked pointedly at her.
” and who told you my house got no toilet? ” she threw back.
” if your house have a toilet, then you why are you doing ‘ short put ‘ inside a bush and very close to the main well. That’s the water some students drink ” I said.
“gosh!!! You are so annoying ” she said then she made to move away, but I quickly grab her hand before she move too far.
“I’m sorry. May I know your name ” I asked politely. She stared at me for a while with an unreadable expression. I slowly place my hand on her shoulder then I move it slowly to her neck. I felt her temperature rising while caressing her neck.
” your body is hot, I have a cold drink here, you don’t mind do you? ” I asked as stretch her the cola drinks I’m holding. She waved her head saying no, but I gave her a cute smile and she fell for it, she collected the drinks from me then she return back the smile.
” thank you. What’s your name? ” she asked with a beautiful smile.
” my name is Ayo. But you can call me oko Adesewa ” I replied.
” oko Adesewa? Like you are a married man or something? ” she asked.
“No… I’m not married. I didn’t choose that name, it was given to me by hundreds of people I’ve never met ” I replied back with a smile.
“I’m still not getting it? ” she asked with perplexity.
“Urrrghhh… Never mind just call me Ay. So what’s yours? ” I asked.
” my name is Ruth, but you can call me Cinderella ” she said with her sweetest tone.
” Cinderella…so much for good intentions, my house is over there, you can pay me a visit anytime you wish. My doors will always be open for you ” I said then I made to move.
” OK… Like any other guy, you could have request for my number but you didn’t. That surprise me. ” she said after me.
” The prince never ask for Cinderella number, Cinderella came to him. Then after that, he came for her, that’s how they live happily ever. See ya” I said then I move away.
I got home meet the pot of rice empty. Baba dudu was staring at me waiting for me to say something. I ignored him as I pick my phone to type a poem.
” Ay Abeg this food no reach me. You get anything wey I fit chop ?” he asked.
” hell yeah! I got some smoked lizards and garnish Millipede in that second pot. Togo dog! Dem use food curse you ? You just finish almost 3 cups of rice, and you are still complaining of hunger. Hunger kill you for there ” I said then I exit the room for him.
Right in front of my house is where some groups of cultist do hold their meetings. And most of the time, they will be hanging around smoking weeds (marijuana) and every Other hard drugs.
I can’t run away from them, so I makes friends with all of them, most of the time, they will ‘tax’ me to buy drinks or weed for them, since they are very powerful, I got to oblige and they get to like me.
Day after day, things goes well, everything seems good, lectures kept getting difficult, and ladies kept coming but my heart is too lock to fall in love with any of them, all I do is just to discard them.
On a beautiful Thursday afternoon, I was sitting alone in the studio composing some poems when some of my departmental friends including my two close friends, drag me to the shrine to drink some palm wine. (shrine is a place where palm wine is being sold)
I obliged without hesitation, we were five in numbers, I, apply boy, last Don, tino and Kay Kay. Tino and Kay Kay are also my friends, they just enjoy sitting at the back during lectures.
We got there and we requested for a paint bucket of palm wine. Just for a start.
We were on the second bucket when some ‘herds of girls ‘ came in like someone who just won a visa lottery.
They were shouting as if they are being ‘dicked ‘ by a bouncer or a wrestler.
I can see my friends surveying their eyes on them, I knew they are selecting their choice. And before I knew it, they are all gone, leaving only me behind with the palm wine.
“sons of Madagascar! ” I muttered just as they approach the ladies.
Since they are all gone, I decided to enjoy the palm wine alone. They call me to join them, but I turned deaf to their callings.
I felt a vibration on my leg, I looked down and I found my phone ringing. I check the caller and it’s an unknown caller.
I ignored the call, but the caller kept calling without stopping. So I decided to pick the fourth ring.
Aduke: hello it’s me Aduke. Don’t you want to pick my call.
Me : which of the Aduke’s?
Aduke : how many Aduke do you know?
Me : more than I can remember, so which of them?
Aduke : just forget it. Bye
Me : wait…
She ended the call before I could say more words. I tried calling the number back, but she didn’t pick up. After trying for a couple of times I gave up.
I hissed as I continue the palm wine I’m drinking, I realized the palm wine is too much for me to finish, so I call my school son on phone and he joined me after 15 minutes.
“Egbon, there’s one girl in my department I want to give you ooo” he said after he finish his first calabash of wine.
” I’m not interested ” I replied swiftly.
“Egbon this girl fine ooo” he added.
” palm wine Don dey worry you. I say I no want Haaaa!. Na by force? ” I asked with my eyes wide open as a cat.
“Egbon na by force ooo” he exclaimed very loud.
“Lobatan, palm wine Don dey work, no be your fault, na my fault. I’m the one that give you palm wine to drink ” I said.
Around 4 pm, I left the shrine and head home to rest my body. On my way back home. I saw Cindy from afar auguring with two guys. The way the two guys are touching her doesn’t looks cool. And within a second she landed a slap on one of the guy face.
I knew there will be trouble, so I fasten my pace and rush towards her. The guys were about beating her when I got there.
Immediately she saw me, she ran behind me. The guys still want to attack her but I block the attack from hitting her. I calmed the guys down then I face Cindy.
” Cindy who are these guys? What are you doing with them ?” I asked repeatedly.
“this fool stopped me on the road and requested for my phone number, I refused to give him and he call this idiot too. Before I could say a word they started molesting me all over. Can you imagine ” she screamed out.
I looked at the two guys, they didn’t look like a student, but an indigen of the town. The two of them are huge and rugged. I tried to make peace with them since it’s impossible to make right with wrong. I quickly tag Cindy my girlfriend in a way to settle the matter.
“bros no vex. She’s my girlfriend. No vex, she’s sorry ” I said apologetic.
” I swear to ogun, if I didn’t beat this girl today. No be my mama born me” one of the guys fired, whoose happens to be the one being slapped.
” bros chill na. No vex, you can’t be fighting woman na, no vex ” I said calmly.
” see nothing can stop me from beating this girl today, if you try to stop me I will beat you join ” he fired.
At that moment, I lost my patience.
” E be like say you dey craze you wan beat my girlfriend for where I dey? That’s not happening ” I fired.
To be continued….
I enjoyed you guys comments please don’t stop.+2November 25, 2019 at 10:59 am #1349322
I just hope you won’t collect the beating of your life ???0November 25, 2019 at 11:02 am #1349324
am just wondering why u are avoiding Aduke as if she offended you…..0November 25, 2019 at 11:02 am #1349325
please keep this comedy filled story going0November 25, 2019 at 3:04 pm #1349348Beautifully MadeMember
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Lobatan, Gobe wan to shele0
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Viewing 8 posts - 9 through 16 (of 293 total)