May 10, 2015 at 5:21 pm #203826jclashParticipant
ADVENTURES OF BIG T (by OSUSU TALKS)
Hmmmmmmm my body freeze wen I see who open the door. I just stand still like dat horse wey dey front of union bank, na Fumnanya oo, see as she just dey shine like 100 watt bulb. My eyes scan am from head reach ground as if na virus scan no difference with her and coke bottle. Next tin wey I feel na hand wey touch me “Big T good evening and please come inside” Fumnanya dey yarn. I step inside I no even sight oga landlord for the palour. “He is coming he went to take his bath” Fumnanya dey yarn. So na who oga landlord be to you. “Well he is my uncle, I came to spend the semester break in his place” Fumnanya dey yarn. Na which school you dey. “Am a student of Osusu Private University, studying Astronomy, currently in my third year” Fumnanya dey yarn. “Big T ba wo ni, ma bi nu pe mo da e duru *how you dey no vex say I make you dey wait*. Dat room wey you book for before done dey vacant oo, if you done ready I go discount am for you” baba landlord dey yarn. I don hear baba landlord if I don ready I go come see you, good night oo. See this man, na dis useless tin ee call me for or na bad thing say I pack go my own house for Banana island. As I dey waka go my room Na eem I hear ‘Big T’ as I be dey expect before na fine anty dey call me. Me an Fumnanya con sit down for stair case, relate well oo until mosquito carry gallon dey hala fresh blood na so we path way.
Morning no dey tey reach oo, today wey be saturday I no get tins to do na eem I call my yoruba love ‘Seyi’ ask her how she dey and tell am were I drop key in case she no meet me for house. Na tym to do wetin I sabi do well oo for were we people dey read newspaper for morning. See argument wey dey drop like misseles wey dem target. This Mr. Damian na football fanatic oo, ee know inside out even the match wey no concern am. Based on Chelsea win na eem men con dey rant, boil, talk tins wey fit happen n tins wey no fit.
This hot afternoon better no gree come, na eem I carry phone take ring Andrew aka Irumole, Irumole na my personal padi wey sabi d way, de only student wey carry first class Accounting and Finance for him set join Masters in Womanology and no dey carry last for any matter wey carry the #BIG_T. Guy how far na, you no be confirm again oo. “Abeg Big T no vex oo I get pile of work wey nail me down for office” Andrew dey yarn. Ok I don hear, na were you dey self. “I dey for Mama Gbenga Store with that chick wey I yarn you about last time” Andrew dey yarn. No let the babe escape because I dey come there now.
…Irumole! Irumole! Irumole! How far na. Big T I loyal oh, fine girl I greet you oh. Good evening I’m Bellastone by name. Na beta tin say I know you, my guy na confirm oo I trust am reach ground and abeg make you no take am play. “Sure I won’t” Bellastone dey yarn. Na so I stone words enter Irumole head, guy this your girl dey bring smoke oo na dis type of girl dey make everybody hail you for road, na beta eye you get. “You know the matter now” Andrew dey yarn. Gbenga abeg sample me two alomo bitters and one bottle water make I drink. Me con dey yarn Irumole tins wit him babe na so matter con enter Fumnanya based on who Irumole be, he give me better tips take catch the girl. As the talk dey sweet, my phone con bleep twice, chia this wicked flash wey no fit show for MTN call history, as I check am na my yoruba love. I con call her back she tell me say she dey my place already say make I waka dey come fast. Me just wan put the last particles wey setle down for my alomo bitter bottle wen I hear POO! POO! POO! Na gun shot be dat oo next thing wey I see blood don full my body….
DONT TOUCH DAT DIAL STAY TUNED FOR EPISODE 3May 10, 2015 at 5:32 pm #203840SimzyParticipant
Haa nawa oo am with youMay 10, 2015 at 6:05 pm #203862Hardeywummy2Participant
Dis one na gobe ooo,dey yarn us go we dey here gidigbaMay 10, 2015 at 7:24 pm #203927May 11, 2015 at 2:08 pm #204505jclashParticipant
ADVENTURES OF BIG T (by OSUSU TALKS)
…see blood don full my body and I con dey wonder why I no feel any pain, na so person fall down for my side. See big time falling hand, dis men no know say my cloth done stain. Dem no need to tell blind man say market dey catch fire, na so I push the big table take cover the same minute wey I hear the gun shot,, as I con use eyes take survey the people wey dey spray bullet. Na just three guys wey were mask as one waka near us shout say make we submit our property one after the other. Na eem Irumole con won stand up, I just tell am make ee cool down watch film wey won happen. Next tin I just say my last prayer for planet earth and I con carry two star empty bottle con still mark those strong men positions, con wear the hand glove wey I dey use for work wey dey my pocket. I waka small small reach were one dey just jump use the two bottle take clap am for head before he sample me him gun he don reach ground already, before the second one face me I done stone am the two broken bottle wey dey my hand one bottle catch am for chest while the second one meet am for lap na so ee carry ground sit down dey shout like goat wey dem chook knife for neck. Na so I pick the first guy gun, I con dive enter gutter, the last guy just dey wonder wen Jet Lee or say na Jackie Chan start to dey ack Nollywood, he just stand numb dey spray bullet for the gutter were I dey like small pikin wey dem dash new toy gun. Me done already crawl follow the gutter path take find the safest root because the last guy done dey reach were I dey. As I wan come out of the gutter na so the last guy point the gun for my neck, I nearly piss for body but dat one no move me because Irumole self dey point the guy gun for neck. Na so my advantage con advance go stage two like say na Contra I dey play, me self con come face am with the guy as police con surround us.
Big T! Big T!! Big T!!! Turn music for my ear like say GLO pay Psquare make them release song wey carry Big T as for advert for them. The people they hail my name after we settle matter with the police finish. Na him me self turn Robin Hood for the area my talk dey everywhere.
…. As Irumole drop me for front of my compound with one of him ride Accord ‘Deadly Virus 2015 model ‘. Me greet am bye bye sake on say him bab e dey with am he no con branch enter my place. Any which way na way, as I cheek my phone missed call be like 2go credit for my phone Seyi don give 27 missed calls, Fumnanya too miss self, she even send me text say I no try at all say I no fit to call am since morning join some other irrelevant calls. My body dey smell like deady body wey dem no embalm because that gutter wen I dive enter be like succer way pit.
Me dey step leg for compound like army wey return back from war, na so all the certified amebo con ask “kilo she le” *na wetin happen*. Me just dey story dem better lie, wey dey sweet them for ear na. Next tin wey I feel na person wey squeeze my ear “o mo pe wa ko ko de le no” *you no know say you suppose reach house first* Seyi dey yarn. She no even mind the wey I dey smell like aboki perfume wey sour, she hug me tight me no even care na so I hold am join body too. I con carry her go my room. As I enter my room every where change, ee just be like say dem pimp my room, no dirty all my cloth them done already iron am, no dirty at all, well ee no concern me but the one wey move me na the aroma wey dey erupt my nose. My yoruba love say you carry party food come put for my room. “Ra ra oo moti se oje ka le fun ee but wa ko ko lo we ke to ma jeun*not at all I done cook food wait for you but you go bath first before you eat*” Seyi dey yarn. Ok I done hear oya sereve the food down make I go bath. As I dey enter my room see wetin dey table, ee be like this my yoruba love they skype me for where she be dey, na the perfect combination be this wey I go enjoy. Amala with Ewedu and cat fish with my drink Origin two bottle and maltina na so I sit down, kiss her first, con tell her say she be better love and con tell am those sweet words wey dey make her ear ring. Me won start to dey chop na so I hear Por! Por! Por! Na who con be dis person wey no fit allow me chop first as I open the door I wan ….
DONT TOUCH DAT DIAL STAY TUNED FOR EPISODE 4May 11, 2015 at 3:09 pm #204552GracyParticipant
You wan run?May 11, 2015 at 3:25 pm #204561anitchamParticipant
Lol…. Ride onMay 11, 2015 at 3:59 pm #204579LordPizzaro™Participant
Mehn viz story ez kul jex enjoyinq every bit*nah pizzaro dey yarn*.lol………next plzzzz