May 30, 2019 at 8:31 am #1317580kingsabintoMember
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Ride on bro0May 30, 2019 at 8:44 am #1317585DamilolaMember
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Lol following0May 30, 2019 at 10:03 am #1317599Samuel(SMK)Member
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“which part of DON’T DISTURB ME you don’t understand?” The lady asked sternly after my friend have caught up with her for the second time. Jide was still finding an answer to her question when she raised her voice again. “Will you just for once in your miserable life, just do as you are told and Back off!?.” She said, amid anger and with the rate at which she was fumming now, am not sure she can take another minute of my friends stubbornness.
“I just want.. Want…want to knw….” Jide was stammering before she cut in.
“you don’t want to know any d--n thing about me…foöl!…all you are interested in is how you are going to satisfy your stewpid sexual urge…” She retorted but no, Jide is not ready to give up either. The arguement was starting to get very tensed and am afraid the ending might not be a pleasant one atall.
“is a sex doll that hard for you to get?” She asked in annoyance.
“will you give me eight hundred kay to get one?” Jide asked her.
“its obvious you’re a fool.” she hissed and turned around and began walking away.
So in order to counteract the situation as Jide was already getting ready to follow her, I quickly marched to him and tried speaking some sense into him.
“hey”. I said tapping him by the shoulder as he continue watching while the lady was walking very fast down the untarred road “the, lady said to back off. Just give up already, its getting up to 3hrs now. no be every lady can be as gullible and cheap as Blessing na… But unless you want to suffer another round of embarrasment, then you can go after her.” I said and waited for his next action.
“what are you saying? That I should just let her go?”
“no…am saying you should avoid embarrasment at all cost.”
“not now that am very close to getting her…can’t you see the way she was licking her lips when she was talking to me? Guy…am soo close…” He replied with a determined demeanour.
“ogbeni, u are not close to anything… The only thing you are close to here, is getting slapped…and believe me, you won’t like it…”
“she can’t do that, and for your info, am not backing off, not until i atleast get her number and residence…” He replied walking away.
“why not also get her Birth certificate and H.I.V report? U this glorified idiot.” i fired back at him cos i was already getting angry at his stubbornness.
“na u sabi. Call me whatever you like. I will make sure I get her at all cost.” With that determination, he switched to Usain Bolt mode and ran as fast as his legs could carry him.
I released an exasperated sigh and quickly followed suit.
fortunately for us, we were able to catch up with her as she was about to enter a Hairdressing salon. I was so tired after the whole 200meters run, and so was my friend.
We were both sweating hard. I stopped a few distance behind the salon as I keenly view from there, hoping Jide doesn’t get himself into trouble.
Two minutes later, the anticipated happened. I watched as the lady gave my friend a resounding slap across his cheeks. I hastily rushed down there to confirm what really provoked the slap.
“did you just slapped me?”. Jide cried out holding his cheeks and looking scornfully at the lady.
That looks like a very dumb question to the lady as she just let out a scoff before talking.
“not atall. I didn’t. I only used my right hand to straighten that insultive cheek of yours, and worst will still happen if you don’t back off now.” She replied him angrily and entered the salon.
“Jide, take heart o, infact, na Gawd go judge am.” I said, trying to comfort him for the humiliation he suffered back there.
“ontop wetin…na?” He asked amid sobs. “ah, emi (me) Darous.” He was beating his chest rapidly. “emi almighty Jendor? She go pay o. I swear on my fathers grave…she go pay…if she no pay, make thunder strike Mtn and their voicemail.” He cursed angrily.
“she go pay?” I asked teasingly.
“yes, I promise you that…you know me o…ah no dey fork nonsense.”
“did you gave her your bank account details?” I asked amusingly.
“Darous, no whyne me o, i dey vex…no make ah vex for you o.” He threatened.
“who u dey vex give? Na me slap u ni, abi u be born idiot, when that b*tch dey dash u slap, why u no vex? U wan dey vex for me, na thunder go fire u and your stupid vex.”
“No vex abeg, u suppose understand now.” He said softly.
“the only thing I understand is that, her slap sent your memory back to factory settings. So I’m grateful to her for that.”
“ok, I know say i fork up, but its also wrong of her to raise up her hands against a guy like me. So she will pay for that.”
Throughout our journey home, Jide could’nt stop rubbing his cheeks. He was busy lamenting how he will make the lady pay for what she did.
I just hissed and went to my room. I laid on the bed and started thinking of how am going to tidy my girlfriend’s sister the next day.
Feel free to point out corrections. The Thunders are on hold for now.0May 30, 2019 at 10:31 am #1317613BUKOLAMIMember
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The girl suppose give you seven star sounding slap0May 30, 2019 at 5:01 pm #1317697marcus VictoriaMember
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So funny the slap enter wella0May 30, 2019 at 5:16 pm #1317704sheegokeysMember
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? ? ?0May 31, 2019 at 6:58 am #1317844Samuel(SMK)Member
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THE events of the next episodes are what transpired during the 7months prior to last night
I woke up the following day, around 6.am. I lived in a self-contain apartment that consists of 1 room, 1 toilet and a kitchen. My room served two purposes, Bedroom and Living room. So it was moderately furnished to serve those purposes very well.
I went to the toilet to do what every sane human being will do in the morning. I headed inside the kitchen to prepare something for myself.
I checked the cupboard. I still had two packs of Spaghetti, so i quickly put water inside a pot, place it on the gas stove. (incase you don’t know how to cook spaghetti, let me teach you).
After the water has reached its boiling point, (you can’t know that, if you are not a science student), I added seasonings and pepper to it. I also added a moderate quantity of salt, applied enough vegetable oil and left it to boil together for another 2mins after which I began to squeeze the spaghetti into moderate lenghts and poured it inside the pot.
While waiting for the Spagg to be ready, I went back to my room to pick up my Lenovo A850. I pressed the top power botton and the screen came on. Messages started flooding in from my whatsapp and when I clicked on the app, all the messages came from one sender. NIKE, my Girlfriends younger sister.
Let me quickly tell you about her before the Spagghetti gets done.
I and Joke have been dating for close to 8months now. I met her on Facebook. I’ve checked her profile, and photo album but I couldn’t find any pics to relate to how she looks like. She later told me that she stays not too far from where I’m living my Bacheloristic life.
I chat her up, and you know, after too much persuasion and threats of commiting sweetcide if she doesn’t accept my proposal, she finally gave me her number and we started talking on phone. I spent the first week trying to make her see me as a friend, the second as a lover and the third as a husband material.
So soon afterwards, she invited me to her house the fourth week, and I was very glad I will be seeing this lady for the first time.
I got to the address she gave me and called her to confirm if am at the right place, because where I was at that moment was the front of a mighty duplex painted in pink.
I waited at the gate for what seems like forever before the gate was finally opened.
And behold, before me stood a very beautiful young lady of at a guess, maybe 17yrs old. This girl is the perfect definition of BEAUTY.
She stood at a bit above average height of 5ft 3inches, with a fair complexion and a set of ample brest with an alluring oval face that compliments her beauty and stature.
She was claded in an armless pink top and blue jean trousers and flipflops on her feet.
“you are Darous right?” She asked.
“yes…I am.” I answered and returned my lustful gaze at her lusicious body.
“ok, you can come on in.” She ushered, but I was unable to move for what seems like 40secs as I continue staring at this beautiful girl and her body.
‘oh gawd of Sango come and see babe mehn? This babe fine no be small. Make I just handle this chick for just 1week, chai, those attentive brea’st go suffer o. Ah, I fit sell my grandpa to ritualist just to take this girl anywhere she wants.. I swear, Sango go repent, if he just jam this kind girl. Omo, I don hit am today.’
“hey Mister, are you alright?”. She said lowering down a bit with a worried look. She waved her left hand at my face and that was enough to bring me out of my lustful trance.
“Oh!..” I cleared my throat. “you were saying?”
“I told you to come in, and it was as if your mind is out of town.”
On a normal day, I would have beaten any other girl to coma if she had used such phrase with me, but this beautiful descendant of Eve is very special.
“oh..my!..Pls am sorry.. Can I come in now?”
“Sure… ” She answered and closed the gate after I’d entered and we both proceeded towards the main entrance.
I followed her like a blind goat to a large and tastefully furnished sitting room. She urged me to take a sit and took the spiral staircase that lead to the upper chamber of the house.
I was in that position for almost 5mins before she came down the stairs.
“Can I offer you drinks while you wait for her?” She flashed me that Konji provoking smile again.
I almost replied ‘YES’ before her last word settled in. ‘HER?’
I stood up immediately.
“Her?… Wait..which her? Are you not Joke?”. I asked with an anxious curiousity.
“ofcos.. Am not. Am her younger sister.” She replied taking a step back away at my sudden change in look.
‘chai. Sango don suffer o. Or is this a joke? It had better be.’
“have your seat, and she will be with you shortly.” She walked towards another direction as I slowly settle down on the sofa.
‘This Joke had better be beautiful like this girl…Or else na temple run things be that o.’ I murmured to myself as I await what will happen next.
TBC. Thunders on hold critics!0May 31, 2019 at 4:08 pm #1318007BUKOLAMIMember
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Why do you stop there, abi you want thunder to strike you0
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Viewing 8 posts - 9 through 16 (of 536 total)