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    AvatarBoniface Edem
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    Essien Eno

    Thank you for acknowledging me as the writer. Most posters don’t.

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    Daniel EdemDaniel Edem
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    bring it on

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    sweetsweet
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    next

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    AvatarValentine
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    DYSFUNCTIONAL
    Episode 5
    ___________
    ___________
    Written by 👉 Essien Eno

    Isabel’s POV

    For a week now I’ve been avoiding Bosco’s calls. Not just because of what happened in the room. At first I wanted to be on my own till the anger subsides but then it became of guilt after what I did.
    Two days after the incidence, Tasha invited me out and then introduced me to a s--d, his name, Innocent. Trust me, he was all but innocent

    The way he rocked my world, i totally forgot how good sex felt like. It felt like heaven.
    It felt so right but I knew it was wrong. I called him John in bed, it was a role play kind of thing. We’ve had sex twice since the cheating started. I just wanted it to end, I’ve been drinking since it started maybe It can make me forget.

    I felt even more guilty when Bosco came that morning with bouquet of flowers. He knew how much I loved flowers.
    He apologized, I had no option but to forgive him. He told me he has taken up therapy to help himself out. We talked for a short while then he left after I promised to spend the night with him.
    Immediately I closed the door, i saw mom walk towards me smiling.

    “Thank God you’re back with him”

    “So?”

    “What’s so? Have you forgotten what we discussed?” She asked and I rolled my eyes.
    Chat Martinmartino on zero eight one eighty thirty fourteen twenty one to be added to his whatsapp group.
    “Tell him about the money I need”

    “And mine too” Tasha added and I got so infuriated that I wanted to slap them both.

    “Don’t you guys have shame?” I shouted,

    “Even if it’s a little, Kilode? Even though it’s a quarter shame”

    “What did we do?” Mom asked,

    “Is it because of how much that I asked for that you’re shouting like this?” She asked and I walked out on the two of them.

    At night I stopped by at John’s

    After taking a long shower, I walked into him using his laptop. I mounted on the bed then saw a picture of a lady.

    “Looks like I have a rival” I said kissing him on the neck and he laughed.

    “She can’t even be a rival.” He replied chuckling, “She’s not even attractive, she’s so thin. Look at her pencil legs”

    “She’s pretty” I commented and I saw him turned to me,

    “Are you serious?” he asked, “I mean look at how she looks, she’s like like a broom stick” he continued.

    I felt bad for the lady. I wanted to know who she was.

    “Is she a client?”

    “No” he replied closing the laptop. “She’s the lady taking me through therapy but I want another person”

    “Why?” I asked,

    “Cause…. She touched my Johnson in order to prove some crazy theory. She’s crazy”

    “When she touched it, did anything happen?”

    “Nothing! Even if my m*nhood was alive and kicking, it wouldn’t rise to her touch. I don’t like her methods, I don’t know why people think she’s a miracle worker”

    I laughed at how contorted his face was; he really did hate the woman. I advised him to continue with the therapy for a week before making hasty decisions to stop.

    “I can’t” he replied and I wondered why.

    “I called her a moron and an excuse for a therapist”

    “Ouch” I said feeling the doctor’s pains. “Sweetie you’re not the type to get angrily easily and exchange words”

    “She made me angry….” He trailed off and I laughed.

    “Isabel, she’s a pain in the ass”

    “Promise me you’ll continue and you owe her an apology”

    “She’s so annoying”

    “Do it for me baby, please” I requested and he agreed.

    Then i remembered my sister’s tuition fee hasn’t been paid yet.

    “Sweetheart remember Mabel’s tuition fees. You know she’s in her second year and all this private university with their issues” I requested touching his bare chest.

    Since I started dating John, he has been the one taking care of the family. I came from a fairly wealthy family. Mom would make exhibitions about how rich she was but the truth is we stopped being rich years ago.
    Tasha is a private University drop out. I attended a federal University although mom try not to publicise it. John agreed to help my little sister out. My family has been using him and I was getting tired of it already.

    “I totally forgot. I’m sorry about that I’ll send it to her” he assured and I smiled.

    “Thanks” I replied giving him a sweet kiss on the lip.

    Bosco’s POV

    I felt forced, Isabel wanted me to go back to Dr. Sommy. She was still pretty much desperate. I took an early drive over to her office. Since I didn’t book an appointment with her. I have rehearsed severally how I would bring myself down to apologized to her for calling her an excuse for a therapist.
    The moment she gave me that “if you ask me na who I go ask” response, I got so angry that I started spilling my guts to her.
    I walked towards the secretary who smiled at me.

    “Good morning to you Sir” she stood up. “Are you here to sue us?” She added and I wondered why she would think that badly of me.

    “I don’t go around suing people or companies”

    “You left angrily yesterday, if I were you I would sue Dr. Sommy. I wonder why I haven’t sued her too” she added and I chuckled.

    “Dr. Sommy is a pain in the ass” the secretary added and I grinned.

    It was almost as though she stole the word from my vocabulary.

    “But when you get to know her, you’ll find out she’s not that bad”

    “Where’s she?”

    “She’s not at work”

    “By this time?” I asked in surprise, “Who doesn’t resume work by eight?” I asked with a low groan. This lady is so lazy!

    “Today is Tuesday, Dr. Sommy is currently exercising at the gym close to the clinic. You can go see her there.” She suggested and I decided to give it a try.

    I walked into the boxing session where I saw Dr. Sommy punching a punch bag. She had a pink tank top on that exposed her belly and a blue shorts on.
    She suddenly raised her leg up kicking the punch bag hard. When she noticed me, she held the bag in order to keep it from moving.

    “What are you doing here?” She asked breathing fast.

    “Isn’t it obvious?” I asked and she punched once more.

    “No” she replied,
    “You might be here to work out or see a friend”

    “That’s crazy, of all places, why would I want to meet a friend here?”

    “We live in a very tiny world? Have you heard of that statement?” She asked then punched again.

    “What are you doing here?” I asked, as stupid as that sounded I didn’t understand why she was punching a punch bag.

    “I’m making tea” she replied, “What does it look like I’m doing?” She continued and I scoffed within. I expected It though.

    “Im just shocked youre working out”

    “I do work outs too,”

    “I only asked that question because I was concerned. Persons would work out to lose weight, and stay In shape. What are you working out for? Are you trying to shed your bones?” I asked and I saw her chuckle then she walked up to me.

    “Finally someone proves he has humour”
    I laughed, I had to, I had that feeling like I usually would in court when I’m having advantage over opposition.

    “If you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to keep in shape” she replied and I laughed again.

    “You don’t even have the shape what are you keeping?” I asked and she examined her own body.

    “You’re thin, very thin, you’re like the letter ‘i’. Do you even eat?”

    “I maybe thin but at least I can make a man speak ten languages in bed” she whispered into my ears biting her lower lip, her voice sounded low and flirty.
    “What can you do?” She snapped and I scoffed. There she had me. Screw her!

    Sommy’s POV

    I didn’t understand where the humourless lawyer got his humour from. I never knew he had it in him. I did notice he had one of the best chuckle i’ve seen in a while but his humour was clearly annoying.
    I felt like kicking his balls but the poor thing was dead already. How could he call me thin? Fine I’ll admit I’m slim but he made it seem bad. I wasn’t going to let him win anyway.

    “I maybe thin but at least I can make a man speak ten languages in bed” I simply whispered in his ear.

    I saw him grit his teeth and then plunged his hands in his trousers pocket. He was already angry. The very thought of it excited me.

    “Touché” he replied and I chuckled.

    “You’re still angry” I snapped at him. “You think you can beat me at insult? I’m the Queen”

    “Yeah, like it’s an achievement, should I give you an award?” He snapped and I paused to study the man in front of me. He was quite different from the bore I met yesterday. I love a good challenge.

    “What are you doing here Bosco?” I asked and he chuckled again.

    “Someone finally picked a name”

    “I would like to think of you as a dog”
    His smile immediately wiped off again and I folded my hands with a smirk on my face.

    “Your secretary told me I’ll find you here”

    “Have you come to apologize to me?” I asked removing my phone from the bag where I kept it. There was a missed call from Filda.
    I needed an apology for the insult I received yesterday. Fine, I may have deserved it but a gentleman should never insult a lady. He called me a moron and an excuse for a psychologist and a lot of mean things.
    Not like I’ve never heard worse. There was something about the way he said it. It was like he had razors for lips.

    I saw him scoff after I demanded for an apology.

    “I deserve an apology too” he argued and I sniggered.

    “You called me an excuse for a psychologist”

    “Because you are”

    “There you go again with the insult”

    “You said it yourself, you’re the queen of insults”

    “I didn’t insult you yesterday”

    “You didn’t only insult me you sexually harrased me. I probably should sue but I don’t want to”

    “Oh screw it Bosco! Stop whining. If your pee stick weren’t so dead, you would have paid me extra for touching you”

    “You’re a crazy psychologist! I wasn’t wrong” he argued and I rolled my eyes.

    “Remember you called me a moron” I reminded him and he shut his eyes; I wasn’t sure if it was out of regret or not.

    “That was uncalled for” he agreed.

    “You said rather than try to help people I should find help for myself”

    “I’m sorry” he apologized. “Specifically for calling you a moron” he agreed and I chuckled.

    “Was it so difficult to apologize?” I asked now laughing,

    “Your turn” he demanded.

    “Whatever makes you sleep at night! I’m sorry” I apologized to him. I didn’t know exactly what I was apologizing for.

    “What am I apologizing for again?” I asked and he shook his head.

    “Should I give you a list” he asked, “For not apologizing when you came in late yesterday, for laughing at my name, you mocked me severally”

    “Jesus! I thought women were supposed to keep malice. Bosco you’re a woman” I attacked and he glared at me.

    “You take everything as a joke and you use every slimy spit in your mouth to hurt my pride as a man”

    “Didn’t you just hear me, I said you’re not a man” i picked up a water from a bottle then I drank it.

    “I know I can’t perform as a man you don’t have to use it every minute to insult me. If i needed one, I can always meet one of my ex girlfriend” His reply had me thinking about what I said earlier on.

    “I didn’t mean it as an insult. I meant since you’re a kind to keep grugdes, it makes you a woman. I would never insult your impotency” I said with all manner of seriousness then I laughed playing a recording of him apologizing on my phone. I earnestly expected an apology so I had it recorded.
    “Now whenever I need an apology all I have to do is play it on my phone”

    “I wouldn’t have been here if Isabel didn’t insist I complete my therapy” he answered. I guess he was begininig to regret coming.

    “Can you do an hour without making someone feel insulted?”

    “I don’t go around insulting people”

    “It looks like you derive pleasure from being mean”

    “I don’t”

    “I bet if you can go a week with me without insulting me” He challenged and i
    scoffed then hissed.

    “Look at this woman o. Do you want to bet on it”

    “You just called me a woman”

    “Let’s start now, what will the winner have?”

    “If you go a week through without insulting me, i’ll give you my car. What would you give me if I win?” He asked and I paused in thought.

    “If you win…. You won’t have to pay again and I promise to be really nice to you. I’ll treat you like a king”
    I possibly could not bet my life savings on it.

    “A woman’s respect is valuable than any other thing.” He laughed.

    “I would really love to see you treat me like a king”

    “What makes you think I’ll lose?” I asked raising my brow at him.

    “With your personality, I bet if you can last two day without insulting me”

    “It’s on baby! Your car would soon be mine” i replied and then i saw him walking away.

    “Are you going already?” I asked and he turned back at me.

    “No. Let’s have breakfast. Seems like you need it more than me, a pole has better chance of standing than you do. You look pale as though you’re going to fall. You should eat more often” he blurted out and I scoffed at him.

    “Now you’re insulting me”

    “The deal didn’t say anything about me not throwing insults, did it?” He asked and i shook my head in anger.
    The slimy lawyer manipulated me.

    “You…..” I paused. I wasn’t going to say anything nice. I wanted to throw foul languages at him but I had to stop myself.

    “Sneaky lawyer… That’s….” I paused faking a smile. He said a pole had better chances of standing that I do, a pole has better chances of giving me o----m that his peestick. It made me angry that I couldn’t say it.
    I had his car in mind.

    “Are you coming or not?” He asked afterwards.
    To be continued…

    DYSFUNCTIONAL
    Episode 6
    ___________
    ___________
    Written by 👉 Essien Eno

    Bosco’s POV

    I hated the fact Dr. Sommy had my apology recorded but the look on her face after she realised I had an upper hand on the deal was priceless.
    We had breakfast at a restaurant then we parted ways. The sight of her controlling her anger was just too funny for me. There were times I would laugh randomly,

    “What’s funny?” She would ask and I’ll tell her “Nothing, it’s nothing” I could see the anger in her eyes.

    I had to rush back to work. The company had this internship programme for law graduates that I had to oversee.

    Then I had a meeting with Barrister Paul Jacob
    He has been like a father to me since Dad died. He was dad’s best friend. He also works in Bishop law firm.
    I’m the boss but whenever I’m to see him, I loved to show him that little respect of going to his office. Just as I walked towards his office i saw a lady walk out of his office.
    There was just something about her that seemed familiar. I wanted to know who she was.
    I walked in closing the door behind me.

    “Good afternoon Sir” I greeted and he smiled.

    “How are you?”

    “I’m fine Sir, and you?”

    “I’m still old”

    “You’re not old until you’re eighty” I replied and he laughed.

    “I have grandchildren already my dear, if I die, I’ll go a fulfilled man” he replied and I chuckled

    He had a way of cracking me up with his death jokes.

    “Who was that lady who just walked out of the office?” I asked then I saw Barrister Paul remove his glasses gazing at me.

    “What?” He asked, “She’s married” he replied and I shook my head due to the misunderstanding.

    “Sir I didn’t mean it that way oh.” I replied and he laughed.

    “I was just pulling your legs” he replied and I laughed.

    There’s just no dull moment with this man even when you’re talking serious.

    “I still have a girlfriend”

    “And when are you going to tie the knot with her?”

    “Sir you know why I can’t”

    “You can always adopt kids or travel abroad to get help”

    “Isabel would not agree she wants me to get cured…in order word, sex”

    “If she truly loves you, she’ll stay”

    “Who would want to marry a man that can not work in bed”

    “Then she doesn’t love you as she claims”

    “None of my relationships have never lasted a year”

    “Maybe she’s in it for the money” He answered.
    Barrister Paul has always been truthful to a fault.

    “Isabel isn’t that way”

    “How would you know?” He snapped and I sighed not wanting to continue with the topic again.

    “Who is the lady that just walked out” I asked as a diversion,

    “When you find the real one, she’ll be willing to stay even with your condition”

    “Like such women exist in this world” I retorted then scoffed.

    “She’s Chiamanda Kalu, daughter of”

    “George Kalu” I completed his sentence, Dr. Sommy’s father. Yes I’ve done my assignment.

    “How did you know?”

    “I did a little research on Dr. Sommy”

    “Chisom” He corrected,
    “I don’t know why they have to make an ibo name sound like an American name. How did you know her?”

    “She’s a psychologist helping me with my condition”

    “I’ve come to realize that most psychologist need to work on themselves before working on others” he paused in thought and I chuckled.

    “What? Do you also think she needs help. She has to be the craziest person I’ve ever met”

    “She’s crazy in deed. Her father’s favorite”

    “I know Dr. George Kalu, but this lady”

    “She’s Chisom’s twin”

    “Now I see why the face looked familiar”

    “Do you need my glasses?” He asked with a serious look, “These two look nothing alike, in character and otherwise, they’re so different. They’re more like enemies”

    “Seriously?” I asked in interest. I didn’t understand why two siblings should be at war with one another.

    “Yes Bosco.”

    “Why?” I asked, I wanted to know.

    “I can’t start telling you stories now.

    “What is it you want to tell me?” I asked and he brought out an envelope.

    “I’m retiring” he announced to my disappointment.

    ______________

    I got a call from mom to stop by for dinner so I did. Mom made fufu and Afang soup. After I got adopted, being an Ibo woman and knowing I was of the ibibio descent, would severally buy our special Ibibio delicacy, afang soup. She soon learnt how to cook it. At first it tasted horrible! Gradually she became a pro at it.

    “I spoke to a friend of mine who knows this pastor” mom said just after I had finished eating.

    I washed my hands in a bowl, I knew where she was heading to.

    “Bosco” she called out,

    “Mom I didn’t expect this from you”

    “What? You didn’t expect me to care?”

    “Mom what you’re asking me to do is no better than meeting an herbalist”

    “He’s a pastor who uses Bible and….” She trailed off. “Okay….” She paused again.
    The doorbell rang.

    “Dorcas get the door!” She yelled.

    “Sweetheart I’m worried about you. It’s been years since you’ve been nursing this problem. Maybe …maybe we should start seeing”

    “Herbalists” I suggested and she shook her head.

    “They’re pastors”

    “With crazy and confusing prophesies. Mom I’m sorry but I’ll pass”

    “Bosco, all I’m saying is”

    “All my sister is trying to say is that of all children in the world she had to adopt you” I heard a voice say from behind. It was no other than my mother’s sister.

    “Mtchew!” She hissed.

    “Akudo in the name of God, if you don’t want to see my red eye, shut up!”

    “Aunty, you’ve wasted all your money on him oh, look at him” she waved her hands at me.

    “A man that isn’t a man”

    “Akudo!” Mom shouted.

    I closed my eyes, I felt pathetic.
    I hated whenever she comes around. She never liked me …. Well the feeling is mutual since I hate her too.

    “You are nothing but a wasted sp*rm. I still don’t know why you and George decided to adopt him of all children”

    “Bosco is a blessing” mom replied.

    “Apart from taking care of your husband’s empire? What other use does he have? He’s completely useless! The man doesn’t even have a sp*rm. How can a man not have sp*rm”

    “That’s not true!” I stood up tightening my fist.

    “What do you want to do? You want to beat me?” She asked moving close to me.

    “Mom thanks for dinner. It tasted great but I have to go”

    “I thought you would stay the night”

    “Not under the same roof with aunty Akudo. I’m sorry I’ll have to decline. Later mom” I said giving her a kiss on her cheek.

    “I’ll stop by at the office tomorrow” she promised and i smiled.

    “See you then” I replied taking my leave.

    ______________

    Sommy’s POV

    Today had to be the worst day of my life. I was starting to regret my little crazy bet with Bosco. I have to play nice for a week in order to get his car as a reward or give him free therapy with an extra bonus that comes with a bitter price.

    I walked into the sitting room using all the swear words I could remember. The door to my self-contained was opened the only persons that had acess to my keys were Juliet and my boyfriend. Joshua was no where In the country, Juliet was my next guess.

    “What’s up?” Juliet asked me, she looked worried. “Did anyone hurt you?” She asked and I shook my head.

    “He said a pole had better chances of standing than I do, he had no idea the number of things I had in mind. A pole had better chances of giving me o*gasm than he does. If he was a nepa pole, there won’t be electricity in the world.” I blurted.

    I could see the look on Juliet’s face. She didn’t understand what I was saying.

    “You won’t understand the joke” I told her walking towards my room and she followed me.

    “Wanna explain?” She asked and I shook my head.

    Since it had to do with client’s confidentiality, I try to tell anyone.

    “Client’s confidentiality?” She asked and i nodded.

    “Okay but there has to be a story to your anger shea?”

    “I made a bet with Bosco”

    “John Bosco Bishop, your new client?”

    “Yes. Turns out he’s a pain in the ass”

    “I thought you said he was a bore”

    “The guy was pretending” I replied.

    “We made a bet; If I get to play nice for a week, I’ll get to keep his car and if I act rudely, I’ll treat him for free”
    “You know you won’t treat him for free shea?” She asked, “Sommy it’s not your company” she complained and I shrugged.

    “I’m not worried, I’ll win”

    “It’s so obvious you’ll lose. Sommy you can’t go a day without throwing words back at people to hurt them” I raised my brow at what seemed like a wrongful accusation.

    “Do you also think I’m rude?” I asked.

    “Well you’re not rude in a bad way. Sommy I love you more than anything but…you cannot even go a day without abusing someone. How are you going to go a week? You’ll die”

    “I’ll write whatever bad words I want to say down”

    “Is that even healthy?” She snapped and I rolled my eyes going into my room.

    The next day, our appointment was scheduled for 9:00 am but i arrived six minutes past the hour of nine.

    It wasn’t intended. The bus I boarded had a flat tyres so the driver had to wait to fill air into it. Of all days!!
    I walked into my office to find Bosco seated already.

    “You’re late” he began and I found myself almost snapping back at him but I had to control the urge.

    “Okay”

    “Is that the apology you should give?” he asked,

    “I’m sorry” I apologized taking my seat.

    “What happened?” He asked,
    “The driver had faulty tyres”

    “The driver or the car?” He asked and I rolled my eyes.

    “I haven’t been a public transport in a while” he confessed and I wondered why he told me”

    “How long has it been?”

    “Since my university days” he replied chuckling as though remembering something. There was still something about his chuckle. He had that baby smile.

    “Let’s start today’s session with you telling me about your family before you got adopted” she suggested and taking her seat.

    “That sounds great but I’m sorry I can’t do another therapy in this pig sty”
    I felt insulted.

    “What do you mean by pig sty?” I asked raising my voice a bit. I saw him look at me. That twinkle In his eyes like I was going to lose the bet brought me back to my senses.

    “I meant what do you mean by pig sty? It’s worse than it. I think a pig abandoned it because the place was too dirty for it to live in” I said out loud then i laughed nervously.
    I almost bit my own tongue.
    To be continued…
    ____________________

    ____________________

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    #1422470 Reply
    Dãñîél wírêDãñîél wírê
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    dont f--k up sommy @valentine roger on

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    #1422473 Reply
    sweetsweet
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    interesting

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    #1422490 Reply
    AvatarGrace
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    I love this story…ride on

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    #1422491 Reply
    sweetsweet
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    next pls

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