April 24, 2020 at 2:29 am #1368086Jëllöf RïçëMember
Legendary Toto 18+
Subtitle – biko share abeg.
The vibration of my tecno pop woke me up the phone seff have tire me I need to change it.
I dragged myself to phone and check it was my junior bro Daniel.
Daniel: Marve I don enter yawa oo
Me: come, why you dey pant like Christmas goat??
Daniel:bro I no dey joke oo I don enter to dey come una house now now.
Me:Idiot I no dey house, no near my house to
Daniel: bro abeg no do laidis.
He said and dropped the call.
Well my name is Marvellous but my niggas call me Marve for short I’m a second class graduate of accountancy in the university of Lagos I relocated to Ibadan where my family lives to look job but I was able to secure an apartment a bit from home.
I quickly got up locked my windows, locked my kitchen door, and my slippers that is outside.
Got inside and brought out the remaining 3k in my wallet plus my ATM and some other percious things, before the idiot will come again saying he need to beg them with some money again.
I started walking to and fro in my room my mind no dey at rest I still remember wetin I went through in the hand of soilders the other time I no dey well to do frog jump oo.
Then I heard a loud knock at the door eeeeeehhh! I don die! I quickly go into the kitchen and took the pestle Mama chidi left in my place the other time no ask me wetin she come do.
Me:who be that?? *I ask in naira marley’s. Voice”
Daniel:na me to open door jharey.
Me:Daniel weti happen where them dey??
Daniel:who be that?
Me:those idiots wey dey pursue una
The idiot just fell on my bed laughing.
Daniel:Abeg shey food dey*he said admist laugh..
Me:The food wey your ancestors bring come here?? Idiot
The idiot open all my pots and ate the rice I reserved for myself..
Daniel:You suppose dey happy say I come
Me:Idiot come dey go
I arranged my room to it’s normal state and started thing about my life when sleep came.
Me:who be that idiot?!?*I said still sleeping.
*Idiot open this door now or well break it*
My eyes shined immediately!
TBC.April 24, 2020 at 6:43 am #1368148April 24, 2020 at 6:47 am #1368149April 24, 2020 at 7:21 am #1368153April 24, 2020 at 8:13 am #1368157April 24, 2020 at 8:46 am #1368162Tari JakeMember
Oya, ride on. Marve wetin she com do for your room wey she kon forget mortarApril 24, 2020 at 8:55 am #1368165April 24, 2020 at 8:56 am #1368168Jëllöf RïçëMember
*Open this door now before I loose my temper*
Na that time I no say my troublesome landlord and his caretaker is back.
*I don’t know the reason why I have these kind of dogmatic, Animalistic and Nicompoo people as my tenant.
Caretaker:Oga wait make he come out fess.
*Eeeeeehhh our sure landlord E sure for you* I could hear the other tenants saying.
*Will you all shut up!, Birds of the same feather*he barked
But wait oo I just paid my rent naa!
*Can you imagine, I spent fortune in building this house from the foundation to the roofing I use all my yout—
Then I opened the door.
Me:Oga landlord good afternoon
Landlord:Save your greetings, where is the monthly Nepa money I told you to pay.
Chaii untop all the rantings.
Me:but Oga landlord I’ve given papa Anderson naw!.
Caretaker:eehn when papa Anderson become caretaker when I never die eeehn!
Sometimes I do wonder say, shey na caretaker own this house nii abi the idiot we call our landlord
Landlord:Call me that pot bellied vagabond.
Papa Anderson:Oga landlord I go pay your money I use the money do something.*he said scratching his neck
*Eeeeeehhh no wonder hin kill fowl yesterday kon dey talk say —
Papa Anderson:Chaii mama tope shut up!
I just dey watch the woman dey whine nose,clap hands na just only wrapper dey for the woman body oo imagine!.
Then out of nowhere her second son King came out with no clothes holding a dirty plate that have melon soup all over it body.
Mama tope: King wetin you dey do for here? Oya commot go inside.
Vicky olosho – eeeeeehhh abeg shey na pikin be dis??
Mama tope – no na your ancestors oloshi
I heard she was given Vicky olosho after they caught her with a married man giving her d*ggy from behind before our local newscasters spread am like wide fire..
Oga landlord:will you all shut up idiooo…ts, nuisan…ces Papa Anderson you must pay me my money on Friday unfailingly you hear?? *He said and started walking away.
Caretaker:Abeg papa Anderson when una become the caretaker wey dey collect money?!?
Papa Anderson:I say ago pay am later ahh!
Vicky olosho:Oga landlord my rent go soon expire shey Mai come una house??
Oga landlord: God forbid I’m still young to contact any incurable disease, daughter of Jezebel
Naso people started laughing.
Mama tope:I talk am ashawooo!!, Go find work leave another person husband*she resumed her marathon clapping again*
Vicky olosho:Na you Sabi oo no go take care of that dustbin you call your pikin *Then she started walking away.*
Papa Anderson:mama tope make your mouth kill you there—-
I walked back to my room when they started their noise again.
I walked to my fridge when Nepa brought light
I heaved a sigh of relief knowing full well that they would all go into their room.
It was evening so I bath and took my wallet I wan go carry game for one bet9ja shop, I was walking slowly almost getting to the shop when I sight Queen, my 7k wey she thief don make her dey shine oo
As I dey see am laidis na my 7k I dey see.
Naso I follow am Queen! Queen!! naso the babe tear race, ehnn! I must catch una today temple run activated naso I pick race follow am.
It’s either I collect my money or I tear that p---y…
7k no be chikini money abeg.