Psycho Girlfriend

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    Episode 1

    by ahmstrng
    Dear Diary,
    I went to see Jhay last week, I have the key to his house so I had no problem letting my self in when I met his absence, the moment I stepped into the bedroom the smell of sweat greeted me, his bed sheet was rumpled, my thoughts threatened to run wild but I controlled them, I bit my lower lip as I imagined him bringing a girl over, impossible I thought.
    My gaze went back to the rumpled sheets, Jhay never leaves his bed roughly made, Despite my suspicions, my lips curled into a smile when I took note of the scattered pillows with the foam struggling to burst out any minute.
    Perhaps they was a pillow fight, my mind went back to the girl I saw and I picked the phone that was resting in my bag and dialed Jhay’s number for the hundredth time, the annoyingly beautiful voice of the voice operator answered again “The number you dial is not reachable at the moment, please try again later, thank you”
    I swore as I dropped the phone, my hands were free and I felt a great urge to smash, strangle, stab…destroy, Jhay’s kitchen was a mess, used plates and pots decorate the sink, the cutlery rack had come off, Jhay always told me he wasn’t always able to fix it back whenever it comes off and I would fix it whenever I came over too, smiling sheepishly while teaching him how to go about what he would never learn.
    My ears were vibrating when I pulled a knife from under the piles of dirty dishwares, it has changed from it sparkling steel colour to a blur of sticky white and brown, I stared at the knife and could make out my face, rising from cabinet I had leaned on, I started using the knife edge to beat the cupboard that houses plastic bags, containers, and all other stuff, what started as an unconscious action gave way to my vent, I started hitting it with fury,
    Ka! Ka!! ka!!! I pictured her in my head, a slim delicate woman with the right curves in the right places and not flat everywhere like me, aaaargh kaaaa!!!!! Kaaaaaa!!!! Kaaaaa!!!! I hit the cupboard harder, I imagined her giggles as he bent to whisper into her ears in front of the eatery I had seen them, the bedsheets,Kaaaa!!!!! Kaaaa!!!! Kaaaaa!!!!
    The handle of the knife came off and I continued anyway, the cupboard surface looked like a ugly piece of artwork, the dents from the knife, the ends that got chipped off, I was still hitting the cupboard with the knife when I heard someone come in, leaping from the floor like a Tigress that just sighted a prey, I got to the sitting room in no time, it was Jhay and his shirt was undone, his hair disheveled. He doesn’t look surprised when he saw me and that got me angrier.
    He wanted to embrace me but I pushed him off, then I told him I saw him earlier today, with a girl, and she was giggling while he whispers into her ears. I expected him to be shocked but he sighed instead, holding his head in his hands, he had told me calmly that the girl was his cousin and I could call his sister to confirm, yap yap yap. God I felt so stupid.
    I became weak in the knees and I crumbled,” oh my God, oh my God “I whispered, I felt miserable for thinking he might have cheated and i remembered the kitchen cabinet, God! I waited for him to leave the room for the restroom, then I grabbed my bag and left!

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    episode 2, 3 & 4

    FEB 14.
    Dear Diary,
    Jhay thinks am mad, everybody thinks so too, I am not and I swear I am not. I am like every other girl, I am normal even if everybody else think otherwise.
    It was a sunny day, I had raised the curtains to allow sunlight enough space in the room I share with my best friend and roommate, she had traveled to Ebonyi to spend valentine with her Fiance and for the first time in six months, I was all alone in the room, I thought of how Jhay would propose one day to me too, would he take me to the beach and have the question written on the sands as Jemila’s fiance had done? Or would he go extra miles like the guys on Bella naija and wedding digest had done? A wistful smile spread over my lips as I remembered the last fight I had with him, perhaps he would call me today and end everything, I shuddered at the thought, besides I had not done anything out of the ordinary, I only ruined his kitchen cupboard, how was I supposed to know it was his cousin he was being lovey dovey with infront of an eatery? Instinct urged me to call and ask for forgiveness since it is valentine, but pride told me to send the middle finger as a text instead, I was in a dilemma when my phone uttered a shrill scream, I nearly fell as my legs twisted among the piles of cloth I had thrown on the floor in preparation for washing, all my excitement slid like warm butter on hot toast as I saw the caller ID, it was an unknown number, my phone conveyed my annoyance as I snapped ‘hello’
    ‘Would you still be mad at me if I told you am out your front door’? The familiar voice drawled, I yelped as I ran out of my room, forgetting that am braless beneath the jersey I wore, that my mouth is unwashed or that my satin bonnet sat haphazardly on my head, Jhay was standing with a bouquet, a box of God knows what and a card he held up as I opened the door which says ‘I am sorry’ I giggled as I hugged and pull him into the general visitors room, The fat female Porter on duty frowned as she saw him with his flowers and all, that sadist of a woman, she allows no male visitors on valentine’s day, and would complain about not littering the hostel with chocolate wrappers,
    ‘so…’ I said allowing my pride to take over and bent on not apologizing for sneaking out of his house before he saw his ruined cabinet.
    ‘I read somewhere the woman is always right, I am here to apologize for making you think I am double dealing… And thanks again for ruining my kitchen cabinet” he looked so adorable as he said that and I gave him a peck on the cheeks, I apologized as well and he asked me to go get dressed, I gave him the “really” look and pecked him again as I was about to leave the visitor’s room, he wanted to pull me in for more but I ran out before he could,
    Giggling mischievously, I skirted out of the visitors room to my room, I carefully had my bath, remembering to use the Olay body wash I just bought then I went to knock on Fola’s door so she could do my make up, I was ready in an hour and some minutes, anybody could have thought it was a model on a runway as I strut down the corridor into the visitors room I wonder when being tall, slim without womanly curves became the new hot, I could kill for Beyoncé’s curves.
    Jhay took in my dressing with a slight nod and stood up before I got to him, walking briskly towards the door, I was annoyed but I managed to control my annoyance because the nosy porter was watching and I followed him nearly tripping on the tiles, the cackling of the porter followed me out of the hostel, I joined Jhay in the car he brought and sat, expecting him to say something about my looks or my dress, after what seemed like forever, I said in a weak voice,
    ‘Your mum’s car is sleek’
    ‘I know right’ he maneuvered the car gently and grinned at me ‘the car is dope mehn, it runs on little fuel, has……’
    I shut out the praises of his mum’s car as he went on and on about it, until I caught ‘she is amazing’
    ‘who?’ I asked

    The car yo, I call her Anita, she is a babe’ he went on grinning and I felt like slapping the grin back into his brain, so he could waste words on his mother’s car but wouldn’t compliment me? we had gotten to the gate when I realized we were at his parents house… ‘what the heck is this’ I turned and demanded an answer from him, ‘well, there is a family dinner and I told them you were coming and….’
    ‘why will you tell them I was coming when I had not said that’ I screamed and continued raving, when I was done, he was staring at me wide eyed, not knowing what to do, I got out of the car and went to the main road to board a cab back to my hostel.


    Dear Diary
    I have not been myself since the 14 of February, and I can’t bring myself to tell my roommate why I have been moody, how can I? When she came back three days after valentine with stuff I can’t bring myself to look at, I refused to even look at pictures of her and her Fiance, she had gotten annoyed and called me “bad belle” and I agreed.
    She had ignored me for days thinking it was one of my “senseless mood swings”, she started paying attention to me when she found me soaked in tears while listening to Brandy’s Long Distance, I refused to tell her what or who is making me cry but I know she knows it has a lot to do with Jhay, he hasn’t been calling neither have I been calling him as well, how can he not compliment me? How could go on and on about his mother’s car but wouldn’t find the words to describe what I look like? And to think he was taking me to his parents house? What sort of rude shock is that? His sister doesn’t even like me, what if I look like a scarecrow in my shift dress…
    I feel so miserable and empty, I hate my roommate and her happiness, her stupid Fiance calls almost every minute, jeez…I hate the fact that she is happy and am not, and that idiotic smile on her face when they are talking on phone annoys me.
    I don’t think I would be attending the stupid Campus Blast this weekend, to hell with stupid Dbanj, Wizkid, and everybody else that stupid telecommunication company is bringing, everything and everyone is stupid…. Even this silly diary I am writing in is stupid, Jhay is stupid and whoever reads my diary without my permission is STUPID!


    They invited me to their stupid show, the stupid social director just wanted cool publicity, being one of the movers and shakers or the school (I am seriously doubting that), I was told my graceful presence is needed, my feeble protests and refusal didn’t budge them and my stupid roommate played the good one by acting like one stupid fairy godmother, I am still pissed, sad, mad at everything and everyone but the urge to throw things or cry into my pillow has reduced, am even thinking less about Jhay.
    My roommate put me through bathing, wearing clothes and makeup, i told her to keep the makeup as light as possible, just lip gloss and mascara, the two stupid girls that stay in the next room-Natasha and Farida brought their stupid noses to try and get a little scoop here and there, probing me about my erratic behaviour and tears, my roommate for the first time wasn’t stupid, and she shushed them up by telling em am crying for a lost puppy!.
    So, two stupid friends of ours were supposed to come pick us up at the hostel and take us to the event at the school’s stadia, I hate what am wearing and I care less what anybody thinks, my roommate jabbering to remove the black top and replace it with another colour fell on deaf ears. I am feeling so Emo, black speaks my mind better than any other stupid colour.
    The two stupid friends came eventually and we left the hostel around 5:49pm, the event has started already, stupid students were screaming on top of their voices, I refused to get down from the car, until I was told really horrible things could happen to people sitting in a car in such a gathering at that time of the day. So I grudgingly followed them and we we were able to get a seat at the pavilion, my annoyance multiplied the moment I sat down, and I had to force myself to watch whatever nonsense Patoranking had got to offer on stage, who told him the Jamaican thing suits him anyway? Trash, stupid artist.
    I was still cussing my roommate for convincing me to come for this rubbish when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder, with annoyance written all over my face with the boldest wrinkle I turned and stared into white! No I mean he was wearing white, all white which is like a total opposite of my all black.
    With the deafening screams of stupid students watching the show, he stretched forth his hand, I could not make sense off what he was saying but when he removed the stupid shade (only stupid people wear shades in the evening) he has got on, my mouth fell open..
    Heaven!!! This is heaven!!!

    To be continued

    #1058876 Reply
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    #1058903 Reply
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    She is really psycho

    come here ryt now

    #1058957 Reply
    Hay Kay
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    this got me smile/laughing.
    gotta follow this till the end

    #1058967 Reply
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    babe am not stupid oo

    #1058978 Reply
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    proud is killing her..she only care abt her dressing bt terminate having dinner with him

    #1059045 Reply
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    Lolz everything is now stupid, my love @fridex u must read this

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