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  • #1334372
    Itzprince
    Itzprince
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    #1334373
    Itzprince
    Itzprince
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    EPISODE 1
    I received a call
    Caller: are you Brother Collins Ajidara?
    Me: yes
    Caller: I am Pastor Maxwell speaking
    from ZOCA
    Church in Amuloko. You applied and did
    interview for the post of Church
    Accountant
    three months ago. I am glad to
    announce to
    that you report at the church office by
    11am
    today.
    Me: (Very excited) Yes sir. Thank you sir.
    (call
    ended)
    I jubilated around the house because it
    had
    been a great relief to me. I had been at
    home
    for the past three months…. I quickly
    prepared
    to get to Amuloko. I called my parents to
    break
    the good news to them.
    By 11 am I got to the place. I met with
    the
    Senior Pastor and he briefed me on my
    job and
    what I will be doing. I was given an en –
    suite
    office with all the necessary
    accessories….a
    complete system with internet
    connection. Not
    long that I settled down I heard a knock
    Me: come in
    The person came in and wow! I was
    speechless.
    She was of moderate height, chocolate
    in
    complexion and has a slim structure. She
    has a
    huge Weapon of Mass Defence in the
    front and
    a wonderful Weapon of Mass Destruction
    at the
    back. She was dressed in a skirt suit
    which
    covered most of the assets.
    She: good morning brother. Welcome to
    ZOCA
    Church. My name is Sis. Iyoaye and I am
    in
    charge of the Church Bookshop.
    Me: Thank you Mrs. Iyoaye. I am Collins
    Ajidara
    by name.
    Sis Iyoaye: Please call me Sis. Iyoaye
    Me: ok Sis. Iyoaye.
    I was wowed at her structure because
    my
    adrenalin level has soared beyond
    1000km/sec
    and I wished to grab her Weapon of
    Mass
    Defence and start sucking it at that spot.
    The
    intercom buzzed and brought me back
    to
    reality
    Me: Hello Sir
    The Pastor: Bro. Collins please come to
    my office
    immediately.
    I told sis. Iyoaye that I will see her later.
    When I
    got to the Pastor’s office, I discovered
    that the
    church elders and other pastors are
    already
    seated.
    Pastor Maxwell: Accountant, please have
    your
    seat.
    I greeted everyone seated and I sat at
    the chair
    that has been reserved for me.
    Pastor Maxwell: Bro. Collins, we are
    pleased to
    have you join us in this Church. I want to
    introduce the Church Board to you. He
    started
    the introduction and mentioned the
    names of
    every one seated. After the introduction
    he
    started to tell me the nature of operation
    of the
    church and the do’s and don’ts
    afterwards one
    of the Women (Deaconess Idowu Emeka)
    seated there said “Accountant, are you
    married?
    Me: No ma. I replied.
    Deaconess Emeka: do you have a
    fiancée?
    Me: No ma. We just broke up two
    months ago.
    Deaconess Emeka: But why?
    I explained that we broke up due to
    blood
    group/genotype incompatibility.
    Deaconess Emeka: Hope you will not
    impregnate all our girls here because bi
    mo n ti
    woju e yii, wa like obinrin gan (everyone
    burst
    into laughter)
    Me: Mummy, no………… I promise I won’t
    (yinmu
    for my mind)
    An Elderly man who has been quiet all
    the time
    suddenly asked me “if not for the person
    that
    recommended you, there are other more
    qualified candidates.
    Me: I know sir
    He continued: “so if I hear that you mess
    up
    with any sister in this church I will
    personally
    blacklist you. And nobody tampers with
    God’s
    money and go scot free o.
    Me: I know sir and I am assuring you I
    won’t.
    The meeting was closed and I returned
    to
    office. Some minutes later I heard a
    knock on
    the door.
    Me: Please come in.
    The person that came into my office
    was…….
    (Guess who) ***********************************
    ***********************************
    **********
    I was surprised that Deaconess Emeka
    came
    into the office. I ushered her to sit down.
    Deaconess Emeka: Accountant the
    Accountant
    Me: mummy it is well ma
    Deaconess Emeka: I want to know
    where you
    are living
    Me: I live at Iyana Church ma.
    Deaconess Emeka: Iyana Church ke? O ti
    jina ju
    now
    Me: I know ma. I am planning to scot
    with a
    friend at Olorunsogo. And….
    Deaconess Emeka: (cuts in) don’t worry.
    We
    have discussed and we have resolved to
    get an
    apartment for you that will not be far
    from the
    church.
    After some discussion she left and I
    started
    pondering
    How will I cope here?
    How will these people treat me?
    Hope I won’t be policed around?
    As I was thinking about that, a call came
    on my
    phone
    Me: hello
    Caller: hello lover boy
    Me: who am I speaking with?
    Caller: hmmm Na wa for you. It is your
    angel
    Damola
    Me: Dammy mi. Omo ele that I have
    vowed to
    marry if not….
    Damola: shhhh. Please don’t make me
    remember how we parted….
    Me: BTW why hiding your number?
    Damola: well I am presently using a
    public line
    in Gauteng.
    Me: South Africa?
    Damola: beeni o. I just called to check on
    you
    Mr. Lover Boy
    Me: Anyway congrats sweetheart. At
    least I am
    happy that the visa was finally approved
    for
    you. BTW I have been called by that
    church.
    Damola: Wow!!!!! Congrats dear. I
    wished I was
    in Ibadan presently to celebrate with you
    Me: how?
    Damola: u know now. Wrapping my lips
    around
    your “OPA MOSE” and playing with the
    balls,
    sucking the living water from it……..
    Me: o gbadun. And lest I forget, I am
    now a
    church worker.
    Damola: E pele o. Pasito Collins. I will call
    you
    later
    Me: ok dear, take care (ends call)

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    #1334381
    Miles Oz
    Miles Oz
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    #1334382
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    Coolval
    Admin
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    We already have the story. Link below

    The Church Accountant *short story by Towoju

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