why I can't Love (short story

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    © Jones Kwesi Tagbor
    This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
    All Rights Reserved.
    This work should not be reproduced in any format whether online, in soft copy or in hard copy without permission from the author (Jones Kwesi Tagbor) .

    Most people seek for true and lasting love when in relationship. They wished they find the special person who will meet their deepest expectations while loving them equally in return. When they try over and over, and can’t find what they looking for, they continue to work on self-improvement and try harder to understand the moving earthquake that is the dating playing field. There are those people who seem to easily find partners who want to be in committed relationship with them. They don’t seem to have to try very hard to attract partners they want. Sometimes their outward behaviour is an accurate representation of who they are.
    Love is to supposed to be unconditional devoid of any form of conditions attached. I have ever loved and I think it was to the fullest. The reward I received after loving was broken heart. Not once but on three different occasions respectively. The first one was when I was in the college of Education. I met Richmond who was coming from a well to do home. He poured all sort of gift on me. My birthday’s with him are still fresh in my mind. I really loved him but he always try to find fault on me. He has no respect for my feelings and my views. I was madam wrong in his sight always as he was Mr Right. I thought I loved him but I was wrong. He only do use me as a sex toy to satisfy himself at anytime that pleases him. Even how we met was somewhat a mystery.
    We were placed on the same dining table. I happened to be a fresh student as he was in his second year. In the process of eating, he asked me to stand-up without knowing what I did wrong. He made me stand till it was about 3 minutes to the close of dinning before he asked me to sit down. I lost taste for the food because it became cold. After the closing prayer, he asked me to wait behind. I then asked him what I did before asking me to stand. He said I did nothing but it was because I was too beautiful for his liking so he just needed me to stand so that he could see me well.

    He then introduced himself as Richmond and in second year. He asked of mine and I told him I was Esther. He said he was Sorry He made me not to finish all my food and then gave me 10 cedis to use for food at the canteen. I told him I was ok but he insisted so I eventually took the money. He took my contact and said he will call to be checking on me. He also promised of protecting me on campus so I should feel free to report any challenge I will come into contact with. He then escorted me to my hall.
    Weeks passed and he actually demonstrated love and care to me. We became very good friends then at one of our chatting sections, he proposed love to me. The question he asked was would I reject him if he should tell me he loved me? I said why should I? Then he went straight and said he loves me and wants me to be his girlfriend. I told him I was Sorry for I have someone in the house before coming to school so I cannot just leave that person because I came to school. I realized he was not very comfortable with my response. I ignored that facial expression despite the fact that I lied to him that I was dating. That doesn’t mean I was a virgin or something.

    My virginity was broken when I was in my Junior High School by my mathematics teacher. Because I was not very good in maths, my parents asked him to be having extra maths classes with me after school and on weekends in our house. One Saturday my parents went to a funeral leaving me and my two siblings who knew nothing in the house. I was around 15 years by then and you could imagine the rate of development. When he came he started admiring my beauty and said a lot of things that made me feel like a princess, then he said he wanted to teach me the sweetest thing on earth.

    He convinced me and had his way through me. I got hurt because he was too big. When my mother returned in the evening, she saw that I was not walking properly so she asked what went wrong with me. I told her I was suffering menstrual pains. Sir Thomas gave me some pain killers the following day when he came teaching. I hate seeing him that day. I nearly reported him but the issue was he didn’t force me but only convinced me and besides my mother won’t spare me when she hears that. The whole school too will get to know about it which will bring shame to me so I kept it to myself.
    So that made it clear that I was not a virgin. Richmond continued to show care regardless of the fact that I didn’t accept his proposal. I thought of this and I felt in my heart that Richmond actually loves me. He do advice me, encourages me when things become difficult for me. At times he gives me money even when I do not ask for it. He was just too nice to me. So I decided to give inn into his proposal but I waited till the last week Of the semester.

    I arranged a meeting with him. He changed my arrangements and said he will take me out to a restaurant just close to the campus so that we could discuss what I have. After taking a plate of rice each, I told Him I lied to him that I had someone in the house so I have agreed to his proposal. He opened his mouth in amusement and went on his knees and thanked me for accepting his proposal. We continued with our drink and left to campus.
    Little did I know that after telling him that I was dating back at home, he proposed to another lady that was in her second year just that the lady was yet to give him her response. Anyway I didn’t know that from the beginning. He became very happy. I was happy too but eeih! come to think of it. How could I fall in love within my first semester in school.
    Life with Richmond was something else. Hmnm that day that we finished writing our last paper, Richmond came around my hall and said he wanted us to go out to chill since we have finished our papers. I planned leaving campus the following day so I was just packing my things when his request came in. I agreed so we planned 7pm to go to a club in town. When we got there I saw many of the students there. They were all moving in two’s. “Oh so this is what goes on here? ” I said to myself. We went to get a place in a Conner Where most people could not see us. He requested for a bottle of stone bear with two wine glasses. One for me and one for him. Hmmm I regret that day.
    Just relax I will tell you everything.
    This is just the beginning of the journey. Relax and enjoy the rest of the episodes.

    …to be continued

    #1151109 Reply
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    episode 2

    He requested for a bottle of Stone Beer with two wine glasses. One for me and one for him. I told him I was not used to taking alcohol but he insisted that I should take it. He said the alcohol content in that particular drink was low so I shouldn’t worry. I told him not to do anything nasty in case I get drunk. He promised nothing would happen. We were served with the drinks and he took it first. I joined him with my glass halfway full.

    We watched people dance and converse about a whole lot of issues. After taking about one-third of my glass, he was saying I was talking too loud. But I didn’t realized it myself. I was enjoying how the people were dancing. In fact I could sense some fun within me. I laughed over little little things that people were doing. I stood up and started dancing so I asked him to also stand so that we go do the dance.
    All this while I never knew I was getting drunk. He brought his chair close to mine and told me that he feels I was getting drunk so we should leave the place. I told him he was rather drunk and not me. Seriously I was getting sexually aroused. I asked him to give me a kiss even as we were seated. He refused and said that was not the right place for that. “For Christ’s sake Esther let’s get going, It’s late too ” he said. I told him to allow me finish my glass so that we go. I took about two-third of the glass. There and then, I realized my vision was becoming somehow blurry. I held his hands to the dancing floor so that we dance.

    Under normal situations I wouldn’t have done that because I was the shy type. I never knew I was among hundreds of people. I demonstrated all my dancing skills that night. Seriously I can’t remember all that which went on when we were dancing but I felt that Richmond fingered and kissed me which increased my level of arousal. The next thing I noticed was that I was sleeping beside him on a hotel bed the following morning around 7am.

    “Richmond what did you do to me? And what are we doing here? Where are we at all? ” I asked all these questions looking surprised and ashamed. He said we were at a hotel and we did have fun.” Meaning you took advantage of me when I got drunk? Were you not the one that promised me that you won’t take advantage of me? Am highly disappointed in you. How could you? ” I said angrily. He said I requested for it. I quickly dressed up and we left the hotel to campus without even taking my bath.
    People who saw us at the club said I was more than crazy that night, especially in the course of dancing. They even said I vomited on the floor which I wasn’t aware of. Alcohol is to be taken on a full stomach and not on empty stomach. I didn’t eat any proper food that day before taking the drink that was why I needed to vomit and the rate of unconsciousness too becomes high when you take alcohol on empty stomach. The best is to eat heavily before taking it. When I got to the hall, the hall prefect asked me where I slept the previous night. I lied to her that I went home after the paper. She said she saw me at the club with her friend’s boyfriend.

    I felt a shock upon hearing that. I was quiet because I couldn’t believe my ears. She asked if she was lying. I remained silent. She then threatened of letting everyone know what I did if I do not respond to her questions. I said she was not telling lies but the guy was my guy and not for any other person. She laughed at me and said, “lover girl, how can you come to school for your first time and start dating? Then by the time you leave this school, you might have dated even the principal ” she said jokingly. She said I should give her 50ghc to treat everything as a secret or else she would punish me and disgrace me at assembly.

    I gave her the only money I had, which was the Ghc50.00 and there she said I will remain her friend. She took the money and squeezed my breast. This lady would be a lesbian I said to myself. Richmond called in the afternoon and said I should meet him under a tree which we normally referred to as lovers tree because you mostly see couples there. He apologized for what happened but I asked him not to worry.
    He thanked me and I confronted him with what the prefect said about he having another lady but he denied it and said he ever proposed to the person but she didn’t accept. So I shouldn’t take the prefect’s words seriously. He gave me Ghc100.00 to use as transportation when going back home.
    My love for him grew up again so that evening instead of me leaving, i went to spend the night at his place. All his roommates left so we had the whole room to ourselves. To be honest I never wanted him to stop that night because I really enjoyed it. He entered me without any protection.

    I phoned my parents that there was a program on campus which I was attending so I will come home in two days time. Richmond was also around to help me finish that semester well. I actually missed him when i went home. Thirty(30) minutes wouldn’t pass without us talking on phone. We kept repeating the ever enticing ‘I love you and I love you too’ as if that was not enough to make the other partner know that he or she is loved.

    It was just a month break but it looked like a year to me. I just wanted to go back to school to see my Richmond. After the long wait, we got back to school. After some few weeks into the second semester, Richmond’s behaviour towards me began to change. He will complain of one thing or the other, always giving excuses for not picking up my calls or replying my messages on time. Least did I know that Richmond was just in for fun and nothing but fun. Is this ship heading for a wreck? I asked myself.

    To be continued

    fast links to available episode

    Episode 3

    Episode 4

    Episode 5

    Episode 6

    Episode 7

    Episode 8

    Episode 9

    Episode 10

    Episode 11&12 the end

    #1151112 Reply
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    You’ve been fooled by love….continue

    #1151118 Reply
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    #1151153 Reply
    rhyne bryne
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    #1151173 Reply
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    #1151193 Reply
    John Walter El Marshall
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    sorry love..

    #1151369 Reply
    A.K Joshua
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