September 10, 2017 at 12:17 pm #1075295XageMember
A short story dedicated to Ann
“Oya make una wake up oo!, it’s time for morning devotion”.
I hate it anytime my mom does this, it always disrupt my sweet dreams, onetime i dreamt of driving a range Rover while i had another dream of dining with Bill Gates but today’s dream was the sweetest and my mother has come to spoil show. I was dreaming that i was with a beautiful girl , i did not know her but we were about to kiss ( me wey neva kiss real life, i gotta to kiss ooo even though na dream) when i felt the cold water my mother was sprinkling on us, the water was too cold that it could chase a demon from someone’s body. Me and my junior siblings Ifeanyi and Chioma mumbled some words that we “sef”could not understand. “Wetin una dey talk”? my mom fired at us and at the same time trying to hold are loosed wrapper to her waist. “Nothing ooo” we replied not ready for war with our mom. The last time i exchanged words with her never ended well, i had to sleep outside because of the fire she spat into my ears, she reminded me how she carried me in her stomach for ten months (did not come out on ninth month) and how she has suffered as a single mother (according to what i heard, my papa run commot for house, my mom
has being taking care of us with the money she makes from her store, till now i don’t know the full details of the story and i don’t care) .
We had our morning devotion that was long like a normal church service. We started by 4am and ended by 6am, my mom did not forget to bind every f*cking demon she could remember. She fired prayer all through while we all replied with “Amen” to give her the assurance that we are following.
We took our bath and dressed up, i wore my black puma shoe that i hustled before i bought with my polo and chinos. I took time to comb my full hair and made sure i looked nice incase i jam any chick for church.
“Mama wey offering na?, i asked my mom holding the door knob. “Dey go church, i go give your sister make she give you for church” My mom replied.
I strolled down to church “did i just say stroll?” No, i meant trekk, the distance is very long. You may be wondering why i did not follow my mom. Let me tell you why. My mom wants all of us to enter one bike, she says it is to reduce cost.
I decided not to follow her again after the first day i followed her, we first wasted time waiting for bike, eventually we saw but my mom was pricing the bike money from #300 to #100, mehn i hear am that day ooo, they eventually agreed at #150, me, my mom and ifeanyi sat at the back while chioma sat in front of the bike man, it was so embarrassing.
I reached church by 8:30am, they were thirty minutes into Sunday school. I entered into the church after greeting some elderly people before they say ” person no dey greet again”. I met my guy “Pablo”, we nicknamed after the famous “Pablo Escobar”(� ) because of his notoriety but he failed woefully in the aspect of generosity. I don’t know why he even comes to church, God Angels are suppose to be tired of his sins.
The Sunday school teacher was teaching about “Holiness”, it was as if the sermon was for me and Pablo even though Pablo is worse than me. He was busy looking at any pretty lady that entered the church.
The service started with praise and worship then to normal service. I was feeling sleepy because of the air conditioner that was left on. The ushers were always coming to me to tell me to sit up, dunno why they can’t mind their business. My prayer was that the service should end “sharp sharp”.
Just as i was about to bow my head and use style to sleep, a girl walked into the church and came to sit next to me. I could not think well for like 6 seconds, Omo� see “YELLOW PAW PAW ooo, it seems the dream i had this morning was coming to pass. Oya let me start with her angelic face to her stunning shape. I will believe if i was told that she is a model. It was offering time, that was when my sister from no where with her dress like those house maid in nollywood movies. “Bro Oche, mummy say make i give you this money for offering” stretching a rumpled ten naira note, i felt like denying her sha but i had to think fast because the “yellow paw paw” girl was staring at us. ” No need for the money, tell mom that i went to the bank this morning to withdraw my offering” , i told my sister who was looking at me like “Patience Ozokwor”. I gave her that look “get out from here before i land you”. Thank God she understood the look and left. I just pray she did not go and tell my mom because problem will start from there(later learnt that she used it to buy sweet)
Offering time came, i danced to alter and pretended to drop something in the offering basket(only God will save me).
After service, i was looking for the girl, i saw her trying to leave the church auditorium. I quickly ran towards her because i may not have the opportunity again. “Hey”, i called to her attention, she looked towards me and a waited. “Hey, my na…..me is O…che” i told her not knowing how to start a conversation with her. “My name is Ann, you are the guy i sat next to abi? (“No i was the one that sat with your father yesterday, girls and their yeye questions) “Yeah, how was the service” i replied, “it was cool, my first time here though” she responded trying to avoid eye contacts.
“K, umm, would love to know you better do you mind giving me your number, mean no harm.
She looked at me for some time before she wrote it on a sheet of paper i provided(lied that i was charging my phone, did not want her to see my rubber bounded nokia asha”
I bade her bye and she left.
” Ochhhe Ocheee” that was my mom coming towards me, “Wetin you tell your sister when i tell am to give you offering money?, which time you start to de go bank? ”
I started thinking of a lie to tell but thank God she did not meet me with “YELLOW PAW PAW” Ann. She would have said that it was women that made me fail JAMB. But come to think of it, who will meet a woman like Ann and will not fail JAMB??�
EraWrites&OcheWrites™September 10, 2017 at 12:34 pm #1075402John Walter El MarshallMember
nice story.September 10, 2017 at 12:35 pm #1075403ItzprinceModerator
hahahahahaha i love this story, its fun filledSeptember 10, 2017 at 12:36 pm #1075405ItzprinceModerator
September 10, 2017 at 12:38 pm #1075406σиєαℓ32Member
na idoma boy u be ne??? nyc story shaSeptember 10, 2017 at 12:47 pm #1075418Wordsmith PublicationMember
Nyc storySeptember 10, 2017 at 12:57 pm #1075430pinkyMember
nice and short… good oneSeptember 10, 2017 at 1:41 pm #1075469