After my husband’s ordination I noticed I was feeling feverish with terrible stomach pain. If it was the fever alone I would have attributed it to the stress of the ordination but what about the stomach pain? On my way back from work I did a quick check on my health status and I was confirmed to be pregnant. ‘Madam, don’t allow what happened to the first pregnancy happen to this one. It is not good to have miscarriage twice in the same way.’ The laboratory attendant advised me. Thank you sir, it won’t happen again, I assured him. All the smiles I gave to him were all fake.
Before my husband traveled we didn’t meet for almost two weeks, he was away for a whole month and now I am five weeks pregnant. Immediately, i felt a slight migraine, cold sweat walloped my palm as i stood still for close to 10 minutes lost in thought. Madam, “is everything ok,? ”the lab attendant queried. Nope,” i’m ok, thanks,’ ‘i replied with another fake smile before storming out. Oh my God! Is my world coming to an end? This could be the greatest mistake of my life. I needed nobody to tell me my husband isn’t responsible for the pregnancy. How will I face this shame I have put myself into? My husband is surely going to overreact when he discovers I am pregnant for another man. How will he stand the shame now that he’s a pastor? This is the biggest mess of my life.
A million strange thoughts came through my mind. I started nursing the thought of having an abortion even though I have vowed never to commit such an unholy act till I die. But how will I have an abortion without my husband knowing? I must definitely travel out of Calabar to carry out such an act. I began to strategize all alone. I felt like telling Sarah but I fear that the secret might leak out through her. I thought of many things until my head became as hot as an oven. In the process I slept off. In my sleep I had a dream and saw myself going for an abortion but I died in the process and was taken to the morgue. It felt so real and horrifying. When I woke up, I wanted to pray against death but I knew the prayer of a sinner is an abomination before God. Definitely, God must have lost interest in me. I cried uncontrollably with hot tears drenching my night-gown.
I stopped my plans for an abortion due to my dream as the pregnancy continued to advance. People around me started suspecting due to the changes in my body. I could sleep from 9am to 11am while work continued to pile up on my table. Sarah had asked me twice if I needed to see a doctor but I turned the suggestion down claiming it was stress from the work load of the ordination events. I felt quite ambivalent about what to do. Alas, i Summoned courage to call my mum. She was the only person that might listen to me without nailing me on the cross upon hearing my preposterous act. Around 4pm, I called my mother and informed her about all that happened and how I got myself pregnant with a man who is not my husband. I could feel how startled she was, she couldn’t talk for few seconds that i thought she had hung up. Mum, ” are you still there?, i asked as my heart pulsates rhythmically. Folake, what are you saying? She finally asked with a shaky voice.
Are you inferring you cheated on your husband? What really happened Folake? This definitely can’t be true, my mum kept asking some rhetorical questions. The call lasted for 12 minutes without me saying much but listen to my disappointed and grieving mum. My mum called back and told me she’d be coming to calabar the next day as to find a lasting solution to this problem. Inform your husband that i’d be coming and hung up the phone on me angrily.
I felt my world had crumbled and don’t even know what to say or do thereafter. Did i even make mistake by informing my mum? What could she possibly do when she comes?
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