The hardest thing I did was leaving my wife on the altar with another man!
It began one week ago…
I was doing just fine dodging bullets and running through tunnels in my new
upgraded uniform, I had just been equipped with the latest rifle and hand
grenade, I was ready for blood and my mission was to save the President’s
From my vantage point, I could see the terrorists holding a knife to her
throat and preparing the camera to video the spectacle for the world to see.
I had two options and so little time, I could either lie down and use my
sniper or I could go in guns blazing and risk her life and mine in the
process, I was about going for option two just for the thrill of it and
also because my last attempt with the sniper gun led to her death as I
missed her captor who immediately slit her throat.
This was my fifth attempt at this goddamn game I just downloaded from play
store on my infinix phone.
I was about going for the sixth attempt when my phone vibrated and then the
call came in, the caller ID showed “candy crush” that was how I saved the
love of my life’s number. Felicity, the woman I would be marrying soon.
“Sweety, I’ve missed you, how you dey.. Before you say anything, just say
yes pleaseeee.” She went on her usual style, dishing out a train of words
without letting me say or respond to at least one until she was done.
“Sweety yes to what now?” I asked in trepidation for this requests usually
had a bad ending on my part alone.
“You know Funmi now, our chief bridesmaid, well you know she just opened
her new fast food, and she wants us to come and have dinner there on
Friday, since, well she will be the one responsible for the catering
service, so she wants us to come and have a feel of her hospitality and
service.” She pouted on the phone, without seeing her face, I knew by habit.
“Goddammit baby, but you know I don’t have time for that, especially
Friday, Jeez, the wedding is Saturday for crying out loud, I already moved
most of my jobs and Friday is supposed to be my day before the honeymoon. I
am super busy and I really hate it when you decide for us with your friends
without checking in on me first to know my schedule and plans.” I vented.
“Honey it’s no big deal, besides she made special cake for you, OK…not
the wedding cake o, I know you love cake so I made her bake special
chocolate cream cake, just for you…besides, you work too hard, take a day
off and what better day to take off than a day to the most happiest day of
your life, the day I decided to marry your poor sorry ass.” She teased as
“Hahahha, you silly broke ass. Marry who, am I not the man, I’m the one
marrying your flat ass, Calabar girl.” I fired back playfully, she was from
Ogoni but I always teased her with the calabar jibe and Lord she had big
backside not flat.
“Ha..you wish, this my big Orobo..alright honey, see you Friday night, I’ll
pick you up by 6:30. Be ready and don’t put on too much make up..love
you…” she hung up laughing before I could respond.